i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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