Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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