I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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