Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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