I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
