I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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