and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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