Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
