I can feel you judging me through the phone.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
