there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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