Me. At least after what I've been through.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
