Me too!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
