She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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