if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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