I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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