No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
