What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
