if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
