So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
