stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
