david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
