You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
