Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
