So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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