Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
