Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
