Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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