the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize