I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
