yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
