OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
