She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
