Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
