Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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