apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
