I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
