i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize