Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
