Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My first STD was from a foam party
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
