I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
