Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
