if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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