How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
