I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
