plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
