My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
