i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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