Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
