Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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