i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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