How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
