just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
