this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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