Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
