Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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