Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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